


Drycleaner Perfection

by bruvebanner, roshytsunami



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, The Incredible Hulk (2008), The Incredible Hulk - All Media Types
Genre: Bruce is secretly a hunk, Clint Shamelessly Flirting, FWP-Fluff without Plot, M/M, No I am Not Your Escort, Purple Shirt of Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-18
Updated: 2015-03-18
Packaged: 2018-03-14 12:20:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3410411
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bruvebanner/pseuds/bruvebanner, https://archiveofourown.org/users/roshytsunami/pseuds/roshytsunami
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Who knew a mishap at the dry cleaners would cause so many reactions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drycleaner Perfection

Bruce is uncomfortable. It’s not a /new/ feeling, really, but today he’s uncomfortable for a different reason than usual. It would seem the dry cleaners had played a very cruel prank on him, and now every shirt he owns is at /least/ a size too small, perhaps smaller. It’s an unfortunate thing, really, but it can’t be helped, and he can’t really be bothered to get new shirts. So Bruce pulls on one of his tight shirts, sighing at the discomfort, and leaves his room, heading towards the towers kitchen. Today was going to be a long day.

Clint was tinkering with his arrows because hey he’s an archer it’s what he does. Plus Natasha had banned him from playing Mario Kart with Steve since last time he blue shelled him. No one knew Steve could say such strong words of violence against Clint like that. Clint didn’t take it personal game hype and completion stuff was said whatever.

So imagine his surprise when he sees Bruce Banner walking into the kitchen, pretty normal so far, when bam he notices Bruce has biceps. None quiet as massive as his or Thor’s but there they are being constrained in that little bitty shirt. What was that? Does Bruce have rippling back muscle? The hell he works in lab all day. He thinks to himself ogling Bruce before he cuts himself on one of his arrow and curses.

Bruce didn’t even realize anyone was in the room at first. He went to the fridge, picking out an apple and realizing it was hard to move his arms at /all/ as he reached for it. He let out a sigh. This was really going to be annoying. At Clint’s curse he turned around, looking concerned. “Oh, good morning, Clint. Are you alright?”

Clint just sighs sucking his finger and nods his head at Bruce before pulling his finger out of his mouth. Of course since Clint is blunt about most things he blurts it out, “hey freckles curious what’s up with the new shirt? You going on a date this early in the morning or are you trying to impress someone?”

Bruce looks down at his shirt, puzzled. “Impress someone? Certainly not. The dry cleaners shrunk all my shirts.” He shrugged, and he could practically hear his shirt protest the movement.

“Oh well,” he thinks to himself thank you dry cleaners, “that must really suck. Your shirt is very form fitting is all I’m saying,” he shrugs messing with his arrow. “Freckles I can see all your muscles so you’re going to be getting some attention. How did you even get muscles if you work in the lab all day?”

Bruce’s face goes a bit red, and he distracts himself by biting into his apple, glancing away. “The other guy,” he says as he eats. “The rate he works my body at every time I turn keeps me fit. It’s a lot more of a work out than you would think.”

“Huh,” he says shrugging, “hey if he also gives your body a workout and stuff does that mean you have stretch marks since you get like nine foot plus when you turn into him? Just curious man cause anyone else who stretched themselves out like that would have them.”

"Some," Bruce replied, glancing down at his stomach thoughtfully. "I mean, they always fade, because of how my cells regenerate, but if it’s a day after a transformation, sometimes a week, they’re there. They always fade though."

“Cool. You’re lucky not to have stretch marks forever like regular people, otherwise you would be a mesh of tiny stretch mark scars,” he grins looking at his shirt, “you sure you’re not trying to pick anyone up?”

Bruce’s face goes a bit red once more. “I-I’m sure,” he replies, tugging at the bottom of his too-small shirt, clearing his throat. “I’m sure no one would go for me, regular shirt or not, anyways, so my efforts would be wasted.”  
He goes back to his apple, looking away.

“Seriously freckles, half the world is digging the skinny guy look and you have muscles hidden under your loose clothing. I bet you could pick up anyone off the street right now. I bet you twenty bucks if you ask some random person to go on a date you would have higher chances of getting a yes because of that shirt alone,” he says grinning as he puts his arrows away.

Bruce makes a face, rolling his eyes. “I highly doubt that,” he replies, glancing over at Clint a bit warily, before he smiles wryly. “I couldn’t pick up a date if my life depended on it, trust me. I think the only person willing to date me is Tony, and he just wants me for my science.”

“Oh I call bullshit Banner,” he grins, “come on we are going out to the streets and asking people if you look hot in your new shrunk shirt,” he says pulling on his wrist.

Bruce blinks in surprise at the sudden tug on his wrist. “Uh…I don’t know…” He says, frowning a bit anxiously.

“Come on Bruce what’s the worst that could happen. You might even be twenty dollars richer if I’m wrong come on man,” he smiles pulling him like a child would wanting to go on a ride.

Bruce hesitates for a moment longer, before he sighs, resigned to his fate as he’s pulled along. “Fine. But you better pay up afterwards.”

“I’m only paying you if you can’t get a date when we go out,” he grins.

He pulls Bruce outside the tower and begins to walk with him down the street, “ok man or woman?”

Bruce shrugged. “It doesn’t really matter. Man or woman is fine with me.” Though he knew Clint would never find anyone.

“Bruce stop being such a mopey person and look around don’t you see the people checking you out,” he grins. “Look in that side mirror of the car guy in blue shirt and khakis is checking you out.”

Bruce looked where he was told, and blinked in surprise when he spotted the man Clint was pointing out. He went a bit red, before he looked away. “I’m sure he’s just looking around; maybe he saw you?”

“No way man he saw you with your tight sexy shirt on,” he grinned, “hey there’s a girl over there by the table go talk to her.”

Bruce glanced over to the woman. She was a /pretty/ woman. “Just…go up and talk to her?” He asked, nervously.

“Yeah man just like you’ve done with other women you’ve dated not that hard to do,” he laughs pushing him in front of him to nudge him along.

Bruce just mutters to himself, “Other woman I’ve dated, yeah, one,” before straightening himself and shuffling over to the woman, embarrassed, and smiling. “Um, hello.”

The woman sighs and looks over the paper before putting it down, “hi there,” she smiles a little eager.

Bruce blinks, unsure, before he offers a nervous smile. “Um, I’m Bruce,” he says, holding out a hand to shake, unsure of what the proper action for this sort of thing is.

She shakes his hand, “Stephanie so what’s up,” she asks smiling.

"Um, not much, I suppose," Bruce replied, trying not to sound like an absolute mess of a person. How did people /do/ the whole conversation thing? "It’s, um, a nice day, yeah?"

“It certainly has a nice view,” she smiles winking at him.

Bruce blinks in surprise, before he blushed bright, eyes wide. He tries to act like he didn’t notice the wink, but fails miserably. “Yes, it’s, um, very nice out, for New York…”

“New York is the same as always but you’re making it a nice treat that I got up early this morning,” she grins.

Again, Bruce’s face is bright with a blush. “Well, thank you,” he murmured, ducking his head. “You’re very lovely yourself, ma’am.”

“Why thank you Bruce would you like to sit down,” she asks grinning.

Bruce is, again, unsure; he hadn’t expected this to work. At all. But he nods his head anyways, smiling softly. “Ah, yes, that’d be nice.”

She watches him sit down, “so Bruce what do you do for a living?”

Bruce clears his throat. “I’m a, um…I’m a scientist,” he said, absently folding his hands in his lap.

“Hmm that very interesting you must be rich then,” she smiles, “but enough about talking how about we go back to my place and have a little fun,” she grins.

Bruce flushes red, clearing his throat, eyes wide at the sudden proposal. “Oh, um, I don’t…” He covered his mouth with the back of his hand, clearing his throat again. “I’m not really, u-um…”

She looks confused, “hey you can stop the act now it was cute in the beginning but I really want to head back to my place and get it on,” she says standing up.

Bruce’s eyes widen even further, and he shakes his head, making an abortive motion with his hands. “No, r-really I don’t—I don’t do flings, I’m sorry.” He stands, brow pinched with worry. “I-I didn’t mean to give the…the wrong impression.”

“What are you talking about? You’re the male escort or stripper aren’t you,” she asks him, “You said you would be wearing a tight purple shirt and look a little nerdy.”

"E-escort?" Bruce squeaks, voice strangled, before he shakes his head, a bit frantic. "I’m sorry, my god, no, I-I—" He takes a deep breath, face as red as a tomato, and stares at his feet. "I’m not…that person. I’m terribly sorry for the misunderstanding."

“Your real name is not Mark,” she asks blushing, “oh my god I am so sorry…”

"No, no, it’s not your fault at all," Bruce quickly reassures, ignoring his own embarrassment. "I-I—It was a close description and an unfortunate day for my shirt to have shrunk. Really, not your fault at all."  
He looks away, a bit desperately. “I won’t—I’ll just—go?”

She nods her head, “yeah sure. I guess I should wait for him to arrive. I am so sorry.”

Clint walks up to Bruce and grabs him by the shoulders, “Bruce hey been looking for you everywhere,” he says dragging him away, “I gotta ask you about this new car I’m thinking about buying,” he says pulling him further away from the girl before sighing. “Was it a dud?”

Bruce’s face could have caught fire, and the relief he felt at Clint physically dragging him away was palpable. “God, I want to go home, that was terrible,” he mutters, hiding his face in his hands. “This is why I don’t try.”

Clint face goes stony, “tell me what she did and I’ll get her back…”

"It wasn’t her fault," Bruce mutters from behind his hands. "She thought I was someone else. It was embarrassing. Can I go back to the Tower now?"

“What why? It was only one try. You just gotta get your feet wet and try again.”

Bruce makes a frustrated noise, pulling his hands away from his face and shuffling his feet. “Fine. But I’m not doing this all day. I don’t think I can handle this all day…”

“Ok how about you try a guy this time,” he smiles, “see any that you like?”

Bruce glances up at Clint, a small smile on his lips, before he shakes his head and glances around, sighing dramatically. “I don’t know…”

“Ha I bet you see one go ask him or there’s another girl if you want to try that route again.”

Bruce wrinkles his nose, sighing, before he looks to Clint once more. “Can I just ask you and be done with this whole ordeal? I at least /know/ you.”

“Yeah sure thing freckles go for it,” he grins slyly.

"How about coffee, then, Clint? I’d prefer coffee over a day of embarrassment any day." He smiled a bit sheepishly at Clint.

“Coffee oh you really do like me,” he smiles excited, “Bruce coffee is the best thing I only had two cups today and am so tired right now,” he whines, “Bruce I want good coffee make it for me.”

Bruce rolls his eyes. “Are we buying coffee or am I officially going to be a prostitute /and/ a barista in one day?”

Clint grins, “you know that’s a good idea a barista that is a part time prostitute…then again maybe not if you like cream in your coffee and they misheard you,” he makes a face and looks away. “Hey let’s just grab some coffee for our date over there,” he says pointing at a small coffee shop.

Bruce flushes a bit; so this was a date? He shrugs, absently tugging at the tight arm of his shirt. “Uh, sure, let’s go,” he mumbles, going to cross the street.

Clint holds his hand bobbing his head as they enter the coffee shop, “so what ya getting? I’m getting straight black coffee.”

Bruce looks at their hands but doesn’t mention it, clearing his throat. “Um, chai, probably,” he replies, shrugging. “I can’t drink coffee.”

“Cause of the green guy,” he asks ordering their drinks.

Bruce nodded. “Caffeine makes me…anxious. So I don’t drink coffee. Besides, tea is much better for you.”

“Yeah well I need coffee to live,” he laughs as he pay for the drinks and hands Bruce’s his, “pick the seat sexy,” he teases.

Bruce’s face goes a bit red, and he takes his tea, glancing around until he finds a little table at the back, far enough away from the others to let him feel comfortable, with a clear view of the door. Old habits. He leads the way to the table.

Clint takes a seat in front of him and smiles, “so try to woo me Bruce you know for fun,” he grins.

Bruce raises a brow as he looks across at Clint, taking a sip of his tea. “Um…” He shifts in his seat. “How?”

“Eh I don’t know be yourself, but your shirt is doing all the flirting right now,” he grins drinking his coffee.

Bruce looks down at his shirt, fingering one of the buttons with his free hand. “It’s just tight; what’s the appeal?” He asked, a little confused.

“Exactly. It’s tight enough to show off all your muscles. It leaves nothing to the imagination,” he grins.

Bruce shifts his cup in his hands, embarrassed. “Well…I’m taking that as a compliment. Thank you. But, I mean, /you’re/ much more impressive than /me/; tight shirt or no.”

He raises an eyebrow, “yeah why is that,” he asks looking at Bruce fidget with the cup in his hands.

"Well you’ve got…" Bruce gestured at him, a bit embarrassed. "Well, you’re arms are…amazing, and you’ve got everything that /goes/ with muscles. You /earned/ yours. I’m just kind of lucky I’m not fat and full of stretch marks."

Clint grins as Bruce becomes embarrassed and puts his elbows on the table head in his hands, “go on,” he smirks.

Bruce huffs, flustered. “I—Well, you’ve got…got these eyes,” he said, looking down into his tea cup a bit desperately. “Pretty eyes. A-and you’ve got a jawline to /die/ for. And, I mean, who wouldn’t think you’re kinda beautiful?”

“Right back at you,” he grins, “you have a lot of freckles kind of cute and your hair is fluffy so good enough to tug and play with. Oh and your eyes look cute too. I think if you were to do the whole anime reveal and take your glasses off you would turn into this completely moe character…yeah I watch anime sometimes,” he laughs rubbing the back of his head.

Bruce’s face is as red as a tomato, and he ducks his head, curls falling in front of his eyes. “Oh…Thank you,” he replies, tugging at the tight sleeves of his shirt. “And, uh…you’re a nerd,” he says, chuckling as he looks up at Clint, a bit teasing. “Anime? Really?”

Clint nods his head, “yeah why not it’s something to watch on TV,” he shrugs before looking at Bruce’s chest, “compared to Steve I like your chest boobs better than his. It’s a complement trust me on that,” he grins, “so what ya been doing in science land?”

Bruce absently brushes a hand down his chest, before he picks up his tea and turns the cup around in his hands. “Uh, science land?” He pauses, thoughtfully. “Tony’s working on something for his suits; a radiation deflector. I’m helping him with that. Mostly.”

“How are you mostly helping him with that? Are you doing all the work,” he asks curious and finishing off his coffee in a few gulps.

"No; I’m the test subject," Bruce replies, swirling his tea and taking a small sip. "So far it works to keep away most radiation, but it won’t repel the gamma rays in me. We’re working on it."

“Dude why are you the test subject,” he asks angry, “isn’t he your friend? You guys are building something to defend the Hulk aren’t you?”

Bruce taps his cup absently, “yes we are. We need to protect people from the Hulk. He’s dangerous Clint. He could crush you or someone else on the team.”

He crosses his arms, “Jade Jaws wouldn’t do that. He’s been good. You just have to trust him sometimes Bruce. I mean seriously you guys are stuck together.”

"He’s good for now," Bruce repeated, brow furrowed. "I trust him like I trust myself; not at all." He shrugged. "I just want you guys prepared, safe. I could change my mind one day and become evil; what would you all do then?" He shook his head, frowning. "You all would be screwed."

“Yeah right you being bad won’t happen and if it does I’ll knock some sense into you or Hulk would,” he sighs. “Bruce I just wouldn’t…I mean I understand but hell you guys didn’t build anything against me when Loki was controlling me so it’s not right to do to you for something you can’t control.”

"Yours was different," Bruce replied, frowning. "You were…brainwashed, Loki knew what he was doing, you didn’t. I /made/ myself this way. It’s my job to protect the world from it."

“It was an accident Bruce. You weren’t given all the info and rushed cause some guy in higher ups was busting your balls…”

"/I/ was the leader of the research. I should have been more careful. But I wasn’t; I was young and excited." Bruce glanced away, setting his teacup down. "It was my fault, and people died that day, Clint; I can’t just brush the blame onto someone else."

“You don’t have to take all the blame,” he says angry.

"Why shouldn’t I?" Bruce asked, looking at Clint in confusion. "It was my fault; should I lie to myself and blame it on someone else? It won’t change the fact that it happened, that people died; it’s my guilt to hold, no one else’s."

“Cause Ross and the other scientists knew exactly what was going on when they signed up for it. They knew the risks.”

"They didn’t like me," Bruce replied, shrugging. "I understood. I moved on. I should’ve made friends, should’ve searched deeper into what was going on. I didn’t and it was stupid."

“Yeah with old hard ass railing your ass each day you’re lucky you didn’t die on the spot and or kill yourself before the accident,” he grumbles.

At ‘killed yourself’ Bruce flinches a bit, blinking and turning to his tea. “It’s all said and done. No need to still be angry about it…” He mutters, swallowing nervously.

“I’m not angry at it. I just hate seeing you blame yourself for it,” he shrugs, “it’s the same thing if I blame myself for what Loki did to me…”

"But that’s different," Bruce replied, brow furrowed at Clint. "You…he forced you. He brain washed you. No one forced me to do my job. It was my fault."

“Hmm let’s see you had someone railing your ass during the whole project and if you didn’t do it you would have starved cause I know you barely eat while working in the labs so you probably were starving yourself doing his bitch work. Oh yeah and he forgot to tell you all the info. I’m not a scientist but if I don’t know every angle, type of arrow, or what I’m shooting at I’m going to fuck my shot up. You were doing your job and I was doing mine and then some asswipe came in and ruined it,” he huffs crossing his arms.

Bruce just stares at Clint, confused and conflicted. He anxiously wrings his hands together and looks down, biting his lip for just a moment, before he looks back up. “I’m sorry…I don’t understand why you care. But…I guess it’s nice to have you defending me a bit, even if I don’t agree. Sorry, again. And thanks.” He looks away guiltily.

“I care cause I like you Bruce alright. You shouldn’t let him be controlling you like this. It was a lab accident. Don’t blame yourself for the whole thing. Everyone there was involved.”

Bruce looked at Clint more critically now, like he was trying to solve a puzzle. He wasn’t sure how to reply, so he simply nodded, looking down to the table and clearing his throat. He couldn’t blame everyone else, and he knew it. But he didn’t want to keep arguing.

Clint stares at his empty mug and taps it a few times before sighing, “look Bruce I just hate blame games alright don’t think on it too much cause I can tell when you are thinking too much,” he says as he leans over and pokes him on the side of his head, “yeah there it is freckles the wrinkle of doom,” he grins poking Bruce right between the eyes.

Bruce’s furrowed brow smooths out when Clint pokes him, and he smiles softly, looking up at the archer and batting his hand away. “I’ll try not to think too much, then,” he replied, hoping they were done with the topic.

“Aw but if you don’t think how will you science things,” he asks grinning as he stands up, “you want a cup of whatever that is to go or a muffin or something?”

Bruce stands as well, shaking his head and looking at Clint gratefully. “No, thank you, I’m alright.” And he smiles softly, shoving his hands into the pockets of his pants. “But, I also, think; Tony never thinks and he /always/ does science.” He let’s out a small, nervous chuckle.

Clint watches as Bruce’s shirt bulges at his arms when he puts his hands in his pocket and stares a little before shaking his head, “huh yeah Tony is a dumbass even when he does do science,” he laughs with Bruce.

Bruce glances up at Clint, before he shrugs one shoulder. “So, where are we off to now, tour guide? Since you’re dragging me around, it seems.” He smiles a bit wider.

“Uh no clue,” he grins, “where you want to go since this is your date,” he smiles.

Bruce pauses, uncertainly, before he chuckles a bit. “I wouldn’t say that if I were you. You might end up at a science museum with me ranting about atoms.”

Clint grins, “science museum it is then,” he whistles for a cab and grabs Bruce’s hand as he walks over towards the cab and gets into the car, “hey Bruce what’s the science museum called?”

"American Museum of Natural History," Bruce replied instantly, though he followed Clint with surprise. "You don’t mind going to a science museum? I don’t want to bore you."

“You get that,” he asks the driver who nods his head and begins to drive there once Bruce is inside. Clint shrugs, “Bruce I don’t mind going there cause you’ll be there. Who knows you might teach me something,” he smirks.

Bruce gives Clint another long, puzzled look, before he smiles, eyes lighting up. “I could teach you? Because I’d love that. There’s a lot of interesting things in that museum. I’m sure you’d like some of it.”

“Yeah like what,” he asks curious, “hey you can be my tour guide there then.”

"There’s all sorts of things! Information about the first humans and the first weapons and there are real /dinosaur/ bones," Bruce babbled excitedly, smiling at Clint. "I’ll show you around; it’ll be great!"

Clint covers his smiles. Bruce is just like a little kid oh god the cuteness is too much. “Ok you better show me around to everything then.”

Bruce smiled happily, excited, and touched Clint’s hand. “Great! You’ll love it. I think the exhibit on weapons has a section about bows, since it was the first long rang weapon, right after the spear.”

Clint smiles when Bruce’s hand touches his and holds it for the rest of the walk there, “yeah I would like that a lot. You know you are as excited as a kid getting presents at Christmas right now,” he chuckles.

Bruce ducks his head when Clint takes his hand, and he smiles sheepishly at the archer. “No one usually cares about my science interest besides Tony,” he says, looking bashful. “I’m just happy to talk to someone else about it. I wanted to be a professor, someday. I love teaching people.”

Clint smiles as the cab stops and he pays the man getting out of the car with Bruce, “well you can be a professor if you want to. Just need an alias some papers and you’re all set to go as long as you don’t mind subbing for when big green is needed,” he says walking with him to the museum. “Huh this place is huge.”

"It’s even bigger on the inside," Bruce replies, smiling happily, and the first thing they see upon walking through the doors is a huge model t-rex, its bones on display. "Told you. Dinosaurs."

Clint holds back a laugh at what Bruce just said, “that’s what she said…uh yeah dinosaurs. Hey do they have the little foot one on display,” he asks him as he pays for their passes for the day.

Bruce rolls his eyes at the innuendo, before he glances at Clint, confused. “Whatcha mean?” He asked as he took his pass from Clint.

“You know little foot from the Land Before Time? The long neck dinosaur,” he says looking at Bruce.

Bruce just keeps staring at Clint, confused, but at ‘long neck dinosaur’ he nods. “A stegosaurus? They have one, I believe.” He still doesn’t know what else he’s talking about.

“No that’s Spike I know that one,” he looks over at Bruce, “Bruce do you even know about the movie I’m talking about? Please tell me you’ve seen it.”

Bruce shook his head, a bit perplexed. “No, sorry,” he replied, cocking his head to the side. “I’ve never heard of it.”

Clint’s mouth drops open as he enters the museum with Bruce before closing it and staying silent for a few minutes. “You need to watch it Bruce. It’s about dinosaurs trying to get home. We will watch it after the museum.”

Bruce’s brow furrows a bit. “Dinosaurs trying to get home?” He asks, a bit incredulous, before he shrugs. “Uh, sure. If you want, I don’t mind.”

Clint grins thinking to himself that Bruce has no idea what he has signed up to watch and pats Bruce on his back, “you have no idea what you just agreed to watch do you,” he chuckles.

He heads over to the first exhibit and stands by Bruce, “ok so do your science thing and be an awesome tour guide.”

Bruce smiles a bit sheepishly as they go to the first exhibit, before he brightens with excitement. “Oh, cavemen!” He says, looking to Clint with a grin. “The evolutionary track of human ancestry, actually—it’s really interesting—” And he goes off on a long rant about why the homosapien was the domineering species, eyes gleaming and hands gesturing animatedly.

Clint just leans on the rail and looks at the displaying before looking at Bruce getting so excited like a kid in a candy store. He’s just watching Bruce not really listening to what he is saying. He does like the sound of Bruce’s voice…huh that’s weird.

He was initially trying to get Bruce out and find someone for himself earlier, lucky for him no one tried to pick up the cutie. Clint would date Bruce in a heartbeat, he was right now he just didn’t know if Bruce thought this was a real date or a friend date. He sighs either way he was having a date with Bruce and if it got too weird for Bruce he could always say it was a friend date. He would miss seeing the tight shirt on Bruce just how did he get arms like that…

Bruce is enjoying his long, excited rant, and doesn’t much realize Clint isn’t paying attention. It doesn’t really matter; it just feels good to talk freely without someone telling him to shut up, without feeling like he has to be quiet. When he’s finished talking about the first exhibit, he reaches out and takes Clint’s hand, tugging him along, unaware of the appreciative gaze he was receiving. He wanted to go look at the mammoths next.

Clint gets out of his daze for a moment as Bruce takes his hand and leads him over to the mammoth exhibit and looks at them confused, “so it’s a hairy elephant…why did the elephants lose their hair. This one looks way cooler.”

Bruce shakes his head, smiling fondly. He loved elephants, and he definitely thought mammoths were amazing. “Well, mammoths grew hair because they were alive during the ice age!” He says, smiling brightly. “It was either grow a coat or die when the ice age hit, so they evolved. But when the ice age was over, they were in a very hot part of the world, so they had to shed their fur or die, too.”

“Yeah like that movie Ice Age with the sloth and tiger thing,” he said nodding his head. He can’t get over how excited Bruce is over Mammoths geez he was such a nerd. He meant that in a good way and smiles watching Bruce’s shirt move and clench over his muscles. Oh yeah that’s not distracting at all.

“So you like elephants then Bruce,” he asked grinning.

"I love elephants!" Bruce says excitedly, before quieting himself down a bit, not wanting to be too loud. "Elephants are amazing. They’re some of the smartest creatures in the world, with the best memory of any animal. They mourn their dead and return to touch the bones of their family members years later. It’s amazing because they’re so…human like."

Clint laughs when Bruce shouts out he loves elephants. Ok it’s settled I’m definitely taking him to see elephants or something to do with elephants. “Huh that does sound pretty human. That’s kind of cool Bruce. Hey what’s that over there,” he asks pointing at another animal from the ice age. He needed a distraction…and he just wanted to watch Bruce’s back muscles and ass move over to the display.

Bruce looks over to another display, and he smiles. “Oh, that’s a Baluchitherium,” he says, scurrying over to the display. “Like a hornless rhino. It went extinct during the ice age, because it ate leaves, and all the trees died off.” He shrugs, before turning around to look at Clint.

Clint was just dazed by Bruce and didn’t hear what he had just said, “huh yeah a rhino,” he says unsure.

Bruce looks at Clint curiously, before he cocks his head to the side, frowning a bit. “I’m not boring you, am I? If I’m boring you just say so I don’t mind.”

“No you’re not boring at all,” he smiles a little embarrassed, “not at all trust me you’re arousing me so not boring,” he grins. “I’ll try to pay better attention to the figures and not your ass and back muscles from now on,” he teases grabbing his hand, “ok so what’s that rat looking thing over there?”

Bruce’s face flushes bright red with surprise, and then he glances away, clearing his throat. Bruce was…turning Clint on? The thought was…odd. “Uh, that’s, um…” He tried to feel less embarrassed, looking where Clint had pointed. “That’s a nutria. It’s, um, a Louisiana rat.”

Clint grins and looks at the rat, “huh looks more like a beaver than a rat. Why’s it look more like a beaver science guy,” he teases bumping his shoulder into him.

Bruce is a bit distracted still, and he stumbles a bit when Clint bumps him, but he quickly shakes himself aware, trying to keep his blush away. “It’s, um…it’s a semiaquatic rodent and the only member of the family Myocastoridae. It’s the only one of it’s kind, so you could say it’s like a crossbreed of the two…”

Clint watches Bruce blush and gets it. He finally gets it, “no way. You talk science when your embarrassed and get more detailed,” he grins as he puts an arm around Bruce, “aw poor Bruce tell me what’s making ya blush so much,” he teases.

Bruce hunches under Clint’s arm and hides his blushing face behind his hands, making an embarrassed noise. He just shakes his head, not looking up at Clint, and mumbles. “You…”

“Me,” Clint teases leaning down to look into Bruce’s eyes, “aw now what did little old me do to make you blush,” he grins.

Bruce tries to avoid Clint’s eyes, grumbling and blushing even more, and he shuffles his feet a bit anxiously. “You said you were…checking me out and I’m not…Well, you said…” Bruce wrings his hands together, biting his lip as he blushes.

Clint nods his head waiting for Bruce to tell him more one because he wants him to say it and two he’s loving Bruce’s blush. “Yeah I said you turned me on so.”

"Exactly," Bruce replies, still trying to hide his face, even the tips of his ears gone red. "I’m not…You’re so…yourself, I’m not used to pretty people being…turned on by me, and just…" He practically mumbles a squeak of embarrassment.

“Aw you think I’m pretty,” he teases him before giving him a quick kiss on the lips, “by the way those other pretty people were shitheads for not realizing how sexy and cute you can get.”

Bruce /does/ squeak this time, surprised at the kiss, and his eyes go wide, before he ducks his head bashfully. “Th-thank you, Clint…” He murmurs, biting his lip and smiling softly.

“No problem so how about we head out of the ice age area and go see the dinosaurs,” he grins releasing Bruce so Bruce can collect himself. Also the teasing was pretty fun too and he liked getting Bruce flustered before pretending to get distracted by something else.

Bruce clears his throat once Clint moves away, trying to subtly fan his burning cheeks. He always felt a hundred degrees when he blushed.  
He adjusted his glasses, let out a breath, and nodded. “Yeah, um, dinosaurs,” he replied, trying to get back into the science mindset.

“Yeah dinosaurs Bruce,” he chuckles, “hey is it true the T-rex wasn’t the badass of all the dinosaurs?”

That, at least, distracted Bruce. “Oh, whoever told you that was lying. The T. Rex has the strongest bite force on record for any terrestrial animal. They could, quite literally, bite through steel.”

“Huh maybe it was a movie I watched,” he says shrugging, “ok so tell me everything about the dinos freckles.”

"Well, dinosaurs were alive between 20 to 65 million years ago," Bruce begins excitedly, before he launches off on another rant, this time a little more aware of Clint as he tells it, trying not to be bashful.

Clint just sighs and listens to Bruce trying to retain some of the information while still trying to sneak a peek at Bruce. He does move around when he is excited and that shirt doesn’t hide anything.

Bruce is, yes, /very/ aware of Clint’s eyes this time around, and maybe, just maybe, he’s trying to show off now. A little bit. Reaching up to point at things he /really/ doesn’t need to point at. Bouncing around a bit more excitedly. Bending down a bit to point at some bone on a dinosaurs foot a bit farther than he needed to. But it’s not showing off, really…

Clint would pause a moment as he’s watching Bruce and grin because it only takes him a few minutes to figure out Bruce is showing off and well two can play that game. “Hey Bruce watch this,” he says getting by one of the dinosaurs and looking like a female victim butt sticking out hands on face, “oh no it’s going to eat me save me.”

Bruce looks up at Clint and laughs at first, before his eyes flicker over the archer and his cheeks go a bit red. Well…Clint certainly had nice assets…He clears his throat, trying not to notice that. “Don’t get eaten!” Bruce says, laughing a bit sheepishly.

Clint grins at him, “Bruce if you don’t do something I will be help,” he says making a scene as others look at both of them.

Bruce rolls his eyes, going up to get Clint before he really creates a scene. “Come on, let’s not get kicked out, Clint,” he says, reaching for his hand, still smiling and chuckling.

Clint grins and skips to him, “my hero,” he says planting a kiss on his cheek, “ok tour guide show me around.”

Bruce blushes once more, before rolling his eyes and tugging Clint along. “Let’s go to the human evolution section,” he said, huffing with a bit of embarrassment.

Clint nods his head and skips with Bruce to the evolution line. When they get there, and after Bruce has done his spiel on evolution, Clint goes to the front of the exhibit line where they have the various species turning into man. He stands in the front of the line and smiles at Bruce, “Bruce look I’m the most evolved human,” he then strikes a pose for Bruce and winks at him. “Wanna check out how evolved I am?”

Bruce’s cheeks go red as he rolls his eyes, but he smiles at Clint’s show and chuckles. “Sure, why not,” he replies, snickering. He puts a hand to his chest, acting like a fawning fan. “Show me ~just~ how evolved you are, Clint.”

Clint just grins and struts over to Bruce like a stripper before he puts his hand on Bruce’s shoulder and bends down then back up slowly grinning at Bruce, “wanna do it right here?”

Bruce is startled and his face goes pale, just before it goes beat red and he blinks wide eyes at Clint. “I-I-I…Um…” He hadn’t expected that sudden of a response. But god Clint was attractive. “M-maybe not /right/ here,” he replied, voice a croak.

Clint drapes an arm over him and smirks, “oh really then where Bruce,” he asks coyly.

"S-somewhere where a bunch of people aren’t staring," Bruce squeaks, ducking his head to his chest and tugging at the bottom of his shirt.

Clint reaches down and grabs Bruce’s hands, “ok after you give me a tour of this place we can either go to my bedroom or yours be thinking on it tour guide,” he winks as he looks at another exhibit.

Bruce’s eyes dart up and down and anywhere but at Clint, and he nods, biting his lip before he looks around for a new exhibit. “Let’s…Let’s look at the stars, then,” he says, voice a squeak as he tries to clear it.

Clint nods his head and holds Bruce’s hand as he follows him to the stars exhibit. “Do you know the constellations of all of them?”

"Yes, actually; I studied a bit of astrology in college," Bruce replied, smiling happily. "Stars are wonderful, beautiful things. I loved learning about them."

“Yeah they are pretty cool,” he smirks, “I like making out under them,” he nudges Bruce to tease him.

"Sounds nice," is all Bruce replies, cheeks flaring a bit red before he bites his lip. "My favorite constellation is…Orion," he murmurs, looking away from Clint and chuckling.

Clint looks over at him, “Orion? Why is it your favorite?”

"Orion’s the easiest to spot," Bruce murmured, just as they came to a map of the stars. He reached out, almost tracing the constellation with his fingertip. "It’s very bright, very beautiful, and it’s named after the archer, Orion, in mythology."

Clint smiles at Bruce as he listens to him, “hmm you trying to tell me something freckles.”

Bruce glances up at Clint coyly, smiling softly. “Whatever could you mean; I was just telling you about my favorite stars…” He tugs on Clint’s hand lightly, chuckling.

“Huh oh yeah,” he smirks, “I don’t know it just seemed like you were hinting at something,” he teases getting closer into his personal space.

Bruce would blush the closer he got, taking a deep breath and glancing to the side. “You’re reading too much into it…just because my favorites an /archer/…doesn’t mean a thing.” He smiled, fighting a chuckle.

Clint gets closer almost close enough to kiss before pulling away and letting Bruce go, “hmm I guess that Orion archer sure is nice all the way up in the sky.”

Bruce frowns a bit, disappointed, before he smiled softly, fondly, as Clint moved away. “Yes…untouchable. He’s probably very proud; as much pride in him as beauty.”

“Yeah well I doubt that he’s pretty average looking if you ask me,” he grins pointing at Orion, “kind of an idiot sometimes. Makes mistakes you know normal average guy compared to that genius star over there.” He says pointing at the bright one.

"Oh, and which star is that?" Bruce asks, glancing at it only briefly before he looked back to Clint. "Because I’ve never seen a star like Orion. Never seen anything better."

“You haven’t been looking that hard then,” he says sighing, “Bruce you could have had that girl or guy earlier today…”

"I told you," Bruce replied, a bit bashful. "I’ve never seen a star like Orion." He reaches out, touching the back of Clint’s hand. "I don’t really care about that many others. They’re all dim."

Clint grabs his hand and sighs, “I’m a bit dim too…not as smart as you that’s for damn sure.”

"Not that kind of dim," Bruce murmured, squeezing his hand and pulling him closer as he looked up into his eyes. "Dim…as in they’re not interesting. They’re not beautiful. Not like…Orion." He raised Clint’s hand and, without looking away from him, kissed his knuckles.

Clint flushes at the kiss to his knuckles and look at Bruce, “you really want this then? You’re ok with having just ordinary Orion?”

"Of course," Bruce murmured in reply, looking up at Clint sheepishly. "I love…the stars," he murmured, and he put his other hand atop Clint’s, smiling softly. "Ordinary to you, maybe. But I think Orion’s the brightest stars in the sky."

Clint doesn’t have anything to say to that and just leans down and kisses Bruce on the lips not caring who is watching.

Bruce is surprised for only a moment, before he’s kissing Clint back, reaching up one hand to cup his jaw, holding him gently. Why would Bruce care who’s watching. Clint was kissing /him/.

Clint pulls back from the kiss smugly, “well damn Dr. Banner who knew you had forcefully lips like that. Wanna get more practice in one of the bedrooms at the tower,” he grins.

Bruce looks up at Clint, a small, nervous smile on his lips, before he takes Clint’s hand, chuckling softly and looking to Clint’s lips. “I think I can get behind a plan like that,” he says, kissing Clint once more before dragging him along.


End file.
